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The information on this website is designed to offer self-care tips and recommendations based on evidence-based research and literature from professionals in each field. It is not intended to diagnose or treat any specific medical condition. Please consult with your healthcare provider before making any health-related decisions.
Age-Appropriate Emotional Coaching
for Suicidal Children & Teens
Hearing your child say "I wish I were dead" is heartbreaking. Whether it's a passing comment or a sign of deeper distress, your response matters. This guide helps parents talk with their children in age-appropriate ways, validate emotions, and know when to seek professional help.
At the end of the article you'll find the Columbia Suicide Severity Rating Scale (C-SSRS) Family Card — a clinically validated tool to assess risk and guide next steps.
If someone is in immediate danger: Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. For 24/7 crisis support call or text 988.
Disclaimer: The content provided here is for educational and informational purposes only. Please consult with your physician or licensed mental health provider before making any decisions about your child's care. This is not a substitute for professional clinical assessment.
Young Children
🧠 Understanding This Stage
- Children don't understand death as permanent.
- Statements like "I want to go away" are emotional expressions, not suicidal intent.
- Children often imitate words they hear.
- Suicide deaths under age 10 are extremely rare, but all threats must be taken seriously.
⚠ What to Look For
- "I wish I could fly away."
- "I don't want to be here anymore."
- "I want to go to heaven."
- "Nobody likes me."
- Acting out anger or sadness in play (dolls "disappear" or "die").
- Hitting themselves or saying they're "bad."
💬 How to Talk With Them
- "That's a big feeling to say you want to disappear. Can you tell me what made you feel that way?"
- "When you say you want to go to heaven, what do you think heaven is?"
- "Do you know what it means to be dead? Can you tell me what you think happens?"
- "It sounds like you're feeling really sad and mad at the same time. That's okay. Grownups feel that way too."
- "Even when you feel really upset, I'm here to help you feel safe again."
✨ Connect and Empower
- Use emotion charts or faces to help name feelings.
- Validate: "It makes sense you're mad. You didn't want to stop playing."
- Offer coping tools: "When you feel like running away, let's sit in the cozy corner and draw how we feel."
Early Elementary
🧠 Understanding This Stage
- Children begin to understand that death is permanent.
- Expressions of suicide often reflect emotional pain or confusion, not intent.
⚠ What to Look For
- "I wish I was never born."
- "Nobody would miss me."
- "I want to die."
- Drawing violent scenes or writing about dying.
- Withdrawing socially or acting out.
- Struggling with identity or peer relationships.
💬 How to Talk With Them
- "That's a serious thing to say. What happened today that made you feel this way?"
- "What do you think dying means?"
- "Do you want everything to stop, or do you want help making something better?"
- "Where do you feel the hurt in your body? Can you draw it for me?"
- "Let's talk to that part of you that feels really sad. What is it trying to say?"
- "You're not in trouble for saying that. I'm glad you told me."
✨ Connect and Empower
- Use play or drawing to explore feelings.
- Teach problem-solving: "What else can we do when that feeling shows up?"
- Build safety routines: "Let's make a 'feeling better plan' with three things you can do when your sadness feels too big."
Preteens
🧠 Understanding This Stage
- Children understand death is final and begin to hide difficult feelings.
- Suicidal thinking may reflect stress from school, family issues, or social exclusion.
⚠ What to Look For
- "I just want everything to stop."
- "I don't want to live anymore."
- Self-harming behaviors, giving away possessions.
- Sudden changes in school performance.
- Withdrawal, isolation, or feeling like a burden.
💬 How to Talk With Them
- "Sometimes when people feel overwhelmed, they think about not wanting to be here. Have you had thoughts like that?"
- "What's happening in your life right now that feels really hard?"
- "When you say you want to disappear, do you mean you want to die or want things to change?"
- "What would you need to feel even a little more okay? Let's make a plan together."
- "You are not broken. You are hurting. I'm here to help you through it."
- "It's brave to talk about these feelings. Let's figure out what your pain is trying to say."
✨ Connect and Empower
- Encourage journaling or creative expression.
- Help identify emotional triggers: "What usually happens before those thoughts show up?"
- Build hope: "Even though it feels like this pain will last forever, feelings do change. Let's find small steps together."
Teens
🧠 Understanding This Stage
- Teens may articulate suicidal intent more clearly.
- Many hide distress to avoid being judged or becoming a burden.
- Suicidal ideation can be linked to trauma, identity conflict, depression, or anxiety.
⚠ What to Look For
- "I can't do this anymore."
- "I'm done." / "What's the point of being alive?"
- Writing suicide notes, giving away items.
- Risky behaviors or substance use changes.
- Changes in eating or sleeping patterns.
💬 How to Talk With Them
- "Have you been thinking about dying or ending your life?"
- "Have you made a plan or thought about how you'd do it?"
- "Do you feel like life is painful most of the time right now?"
- "I want to understand what's underneath this pain. Can we talk about what's hurting?"
- "Even if part of you wants to give up, another part came to me. That's the part I want to help."
- "You're not alone. We'll figure it out together, but I need to know if you're safe."
✨ Connect and Empower
- Normalize mental health conversations: "Many teens go through this. You're not alone."
- Offer choice: "Would you like to talk to a therapist alone or with me there?"
- Build support: "Who else do you feel safe talking to?"
How to Respond at Any Age
Stay Calm and Present
Your calmness helps regulate their nervous system. Breathe. Your steady presence is the most powerful tool you have.
Validate First
"That sounds really hard." "You are allowed to feel that." Validation opens the door — arguments close it.
Name the Emotion
"You sound hopeless… like there's no way out." Naming feelings reduces their intensity and shows you understand.
Don't Minimize
Avoid "You're just being dramatic" or "You're fine." These shut down conversation and increase shame.
Build Coping Plans
Create a "Feel Better Plan" or "Safety Plan" together. Having a plan reduces panic for both of you.
Seek Professional Help
Therapy is critical when suicidal thoughts are present. Don't delay — early intervention saves lives.
🚨 When to Seek Immediate Help
Call 911 or go to the ER if any of the following are true:
- Your child has a specific plan to harm themselves.
- There is access to dangerous means (weapons, pills, sharp objects).
- You are uncertain about their safety — even if they insist they are "fine."
Columbia Suicide Severity Rating Scale (C-SSRS) Family Card
The C-SSRS Family Card is a clinically validated tool designed to help parents and caregivers assess suicide risk in youth. Use it to:
- Start open conversations about suicidal thoughts.
- Determine the level of risk.
- Know when to seek emergency care or therapy.
The C-SSRS Mobile App gives you quick and easy access to the Columbia Suicide Severity Rating Scale right from your phone. You can also use the Family and Friends Screening Card to help determine whether your child may be at immediate risk and in need of crisis intervention. If your child has expressed suicidal thoughts, developed a plan, made preparations, and intends to act — as outlined in the screening tool below — it's time to seek immediate crisis support.
Download the free C-SSRS Mobile App: Columbia Protocol App – Save Lives →
Utah Suicide Prevention &
Mental Health Crisis Resources
If someone is in immediate danger or unable to stay safe, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or Text: 988Free, confidential support 24/7 for suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, substance use crises, mental health emergencies, and support for family/friends worried about someone.
Visit Website →Veterans Crisis Line
Dial 988 then Press 1 · Text: 838255Specialized support for veterans, service members, National Guard, reservists, and their families.
Visit Website →SafeUT App
Free App — Utah BasedFree Utah-based crisis chat app with licensed counselors. Available for students, parents, teachers, frontline workers, and Utah National Guard families.
Visit Website →Utah Warm Line
833-SPEAKUT (833-773-2588)Peer support for non-crisis emotional support. Talk to someone who understands — not just when you're in crisis, but when you just need to be heard.
Visit Website →Crisis Text Line
Text HOME to 741741Free, 24/7 crisis support via text message. Ideal for teens and youth who prefer texting over talking.
Visit Website →The Trevor Project
1-866-488-7386 · Text START to 67867824/7 crisis support specifically for LGBTQ+ young people in crisis.
Visit Website →NAMI Utah
(801) 323-9900Family support groups, peer connection groups, mental health education, suicide prevention training (QPR), and helpline support.
Visit Website →AFSP Utah Chapter
American Foundation for Suicide PreventionSurvivor support, community walks/events, suicide prevention training, education programs, and advocacy opportunities.
Visit Website →Utah Suicide Prevention Coalition
Community Training & ResourcesCommunity training, prevention resources, toolkits, and school and workplace prevention programs across Utah.
Visit Website →Huntsman Mental Health Institute
(801) 583-2500 · Open 24/7Crisis stabilization, walk-in crisis care, psychiatric services, mobile crisis outreach, and 988 support coordination.
Visit Website →Intermountain — LDS Hospital
(801) 408-8330Behavioral Health Access Center at LDS Hospital, Salt Lake City. Walk-in behavioral health crisis support.
Visit Website →Intermountain — McKay-Dee Hospital
(801) 387-5543Behavioral Health Access Center at McKay-Dee Hospital, Ogden. Walk-in behavioral health crisis support.
Visit Website →Hope Squad
School-Based ProgramUtah-based peer-to-peer youth suicide prevention used in schools across the state. Students helping students.
Visit Website →Intermountain — St. George Regional
(435) 251-4480Behavioral Health Access Center at St. George Regional Hospital. Southern Utah walk-in behavioral health crisis support.
Visit Website →Utah DHHS Suicide Prevention
Statewide ResourcesUtah Department of Health & Human Services statewide prevention education and referral resources for individuals, families, and communities.
Visit Website →NAMI Utah HelpLine
(801) 323-9900Non-crisis support and mental health resource navigation for individuals and families navigating the mental health system.
Visit Website →Utah County Crisis Line
(801) 226-4468Local crisis support for Utah County residents. Orem, Utah.
More Crisis Resources
utah23.orgVisit our full crisis support resources page for an expanded list of national and local mental health support options.
View All Resources →
